SILENT SCREAMS

Let me tell you about Mike. Not the Football Captain, hot stuff, rich kid, most popular boy, ladies man Mike. The real Mike. Today, his physics test score screams "FAILED", again. The knot in his chest and throat grows bigger. He sits in class each day trying to figure out the words on the board and in the books.

He is suffocating.

See, he would rather mask his struggle and be the strong, popular athlete in school, enjoying the moment, but the satisfaction is only temporary. The real Mike has a Harvard dream, an astronaut dream. But how is he going to get in if he keeps bullying the school nerd Patrick to do his homework just to hide his inability? How does he explain this thing that Google says is DYSLEXIA? He fears the stigma, the mocking.

It grew worse each day, until eventually, it opened the door for depression and anxiety.

His parents? Never seeing eye to eye, never around. Mr. and Mrs. Smith own Fortune 500 companies, so they live and breathe business and the requisite meetings that follow. Australia today, Germany tomorrow. When around, fights and arguments are how they communicate. His brother? He's hot-tempered with no patience. He’s endured years of secret bullying from him. He tries his friends, but all they see is the guy they wish to be. He tries his principal, all he sees is his golden athlete bringing the school fame and endorsements. He would rather falsely raise Mike’s grades.

No one sees past the cloak, a young 16-year-old soul yearning for help, wanting to be more but unable. His signal for help was ignored.

The pressure mounts.

In school, at home, amongst friends, surrounded but alone, with the weight of the world crushing him, he buries himself in drugs for an alternate form of relief. He needed more release, so he tried self-harm and liked it. It gave him ease, gave him a feeling of control, or so he thought. The depression grew deeper, the craving for more self-harm stronger. Enduring years of family chaos and a secret struggle with dyslexia, the problems weighed in. He could no longer deal.. He started to cave in.

It showed in his eyes, you could tell from his posts on Twitter, from the peculiar Instagram captions, but they chose oblivion. The athlete, rich kid, football captain, the most popular guy, surrounded but isolated needed more release from the storm. He went the full circle with depression, unable to rein in the internal turmoil. He slit his vein and gave in. It was the most peace he had ever known.

This fictional piece sheds light on the reality of a huge percentage of teenagers worldwide. Young people between the ages of 12-22 suffer from psychological problems caused by a host of societal, family and inner conflict problems. In recent years, there have been multiple cases of young people taking their lives to the surprise of family and friends. Worst still, some manifest their condition through overt acts such as violence.

A classic example is the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting which occurred in Newtown, Connecticut, in the US on December 14, 2012. 20-year-old Adam Lanza opened fire and shot at children in the school as well as adults, before then he had on his way to school that morning shot and killed his mum at home. Before he could be apprehended, he committed suicide by shooting himself in the head. A regular 20 year old would ordinarily not wake up one morning to commit this act, there must have been a lingering psychological problem, one that his family, unfortunately, failed to notice and in this case, cost her her life and that of others.

A lot of teenagers express a cry for help, sometimes in an obvious manner, most times otherwise.

Signs of a disturbed teenager

i. Skipping classes and school: studies have shown that kids who are dealing with a challenge in school such as bullying, tend to develop reluctance for attending classes and a habit of skipping school in general. This is usually the first trigger to more problems.

ii. Alcohol and drug consumption: drugs and alcohol have an inhibiting effect. High consumption of these substances affects the thinking faculty of the consumer and sometimes gives off a feeling of euphoria, release, and calmness. It, however, wears off with the drug. This is why a disturbed teenager is most likely to get addicted to taking these substances, they crave an escape from whatever reality they're attempting to escape.

iii. Reclusion and isolation: when your once bubbly child/ or ward suddenly develops a quiet and reserved personality, you need to check it out! Sometimes it might just be a natural change of personality since they are still in their formative years, but most of the time, something serious is going on with them. Your daughter or son could be getting raped, molested, or bullied right under your nose. Or it might be an issue of inner conflict; struggling with their sexuality or body dysmorphia. It could be anything.

iv. Scratch and cut signs: when things like this become apparent, then, that teenager is neck-deep in problems! It could be self-inflicted, it could be inflicted by another. It doesn’t matter the story he/she gives you as a reason, these kids are good at making up stories. If they can hide their problems up to this point, don’t believe a word. Get your Sherlock Holmes on and find out what the hell is going on.

According to the Department of Health and Human Services USA, about 3 million teenagers between 12-17 suffer from major depression. More than 2 million show that depression experienced effects and impairs their daily function. We need to do better, as parents, siblings, friends, teachers. How? You ask. Here’s how:

i. Pay more attention: to their activities in school, their grades, their relationship with friends, and their mood. And whether you find it ridiculous or not, their social media accounts and the content they post. A CNN special report made in 2015 conducted for more than 200 13-year-olds revealed that “there is no firm line between their real and online world”. So parents, guardians, time to get updated and get on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc.

ii. Show love and understanding: when you see a teenager acting up, even though they can be the most annoying little humans in the world, do not push them away! Do not punish them unnecessarily, and do not judge them for their shortcomings either. Show love, bring them in. That’s the only way to figure out what’s going on, and when you do that, motivate them, encourage them with inspiring stories of other people who struggled with similar situations and how they overcame them. It would help with healing or dealing with their problems faster.

iii. Get professional help: as much as we would love to be the Jerry Springer of our kids' or wards' lives, some things can’t be handled by untrained individuals. Take the young person to a professional. They study issues like this for a reason. Ranging from school counsellors to shrinks. Get that young boy or girl the professional help she/he needs before it's too late.

iv. When you start to notice cuts and marks on a teenager’s body, take away all self-inflicting materials and make them as inaccessible as possible. Better safe than sorry.

It is not enough to say you know your child, ward, friend, sibling. Are you conscious of their battles and inner demons?